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BigMacJew
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Name: Katie
Birthday: 2/28/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Loving the Lord, music(preference hip hop and R&B), driving, learning, psychology, running, basketball (wish i knew how to play) , black men, laughing, and being with the people i love. And i am working on my legalistic views and becoming more interested in being "liberal with morals"
Expertise: hip-hop and R&B (white girl aint so white), Sex and the City (oh my, she watches that sinful show?!), Les Miserables, becoming McAlisters expert and hopefully someday i can say an expert in loving ALL people like they should be loved and in psychology.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  GuardGoddess47
Member Since:
1/19/2004
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| The past 3 days have been the worst in sports history ever...Notre Dame lost, Florida State lost, Georgia lost
And the complete icing on the cake...the game i cared about the most...USC lost in the last 20 seconds...SOB Vince Young carried his team to the end...amazing man i must swallow my pride and admit...but i am sorry if i offend people but without him the UT Longhorns would have never had a season like they did or made it to the Rose Bowl (and you cant give me crap that w/o Reggie or Leinart the Trojans would have gone nowhere cause that is a dern lie...might i bring up the names Dwayne Jarrett, Lendale White.....)
And the Mavs lost to the Timberwolves...on normal circumstances i would allow it since i love KG but today was not a good day for them to lose
Not gonna lie...it took everything in me not to go get plastered tonight...but the smarts in me told me "bad idea katie...very very bad idea" so i decided to listen
At least my OK State bball are doing decent...not up to par but considerably good.
Blah, i'm gonna go to bed and sleep this one off...i've been a horrible person tonight with my cursing, yelling, anger.................................................. | | |
| I went to the cutest and friendliest little Episcopalian Church today with Laura. We have been before but in early September. It is just an extremely loving community. I sometimes miss genuine "Christ-like" love.
Brandon said something a couple weeks ago that has just stuck with me and i dont think he even realizes that it has had such an affect on me. We were going to church one day and talking about different denominations and i mentioned this little episcopalian church to him and he said something along the lines of, "You know, i went to a private Catholic school and i still dont get the difference. Yea, I know they are more formal and traditional but they still believe in the same central idea." It is so simple! We are the ones who complicate everything and complicate "religion." We like to nit-pick at every denomination and religion and talk about how horrible they are when a majority are so alike. If Jesus is the central idea, focus, belief and King, then what the hell else matters. Why did we stop loving each other? Why are we always after converting others to our belief? Why cant we just live and co-exist with each other and change people with love? I swear that is what is lacking is love? We try to play Justice God and not the example Christ laid out for us...a loving God. Hence the word play. Cause when we are Christ-like its usually a play act. Not real or genuine. I am in a desperate search for genuine compassion, love, and humility. I'm going to always be working on it in my life as well. Its not something that just happens...you have to work at it till it becomes habitually embedded in the heart...so therefore i got a job...and i will work! Just something i've been thinking about. I am learning to respect other religions and the people who hold to those faiths. I'm learning that trying to convert them is like attacking them. And if I feel led to help "change" them it will only be done thru love as well. There goes that word again...LOVE. It's the only thing people search for on earth.
I'm gonna stop now cause i think i could go on for days about my new thought. geez put me behind a computer and i'll write a damn novel! why cant it be like this when i have to write papers for school?! hmmmmm...
If anyone actually read this (God have mercy on your soul...jk) i would be very grateful for prayers on Tuesday. I cant believe it will be 2 years on Tuesday that Jeannette was taken from us. Last year was really tough...i dont know what this year holds and i dont really want to think about it. But if there is one thing i ask for is a simple thought of the ones hurting her loss and the ones who really miss her...god 2 years...i miss my sister. Thank you guys and God bless. | | |
| Have you ever just had one of those moments where you are like..."wow. i am alive." Sounds kinda nutso i know but i was just thinking about alotta stuff and how lucky i am to be alive. So many times i just complain about nonsense and i stress about it as well...and sometimes i wish to just not be here at all...NONSENSE! I am blessed to have a healthy body, to walk, run, breathe, think, read, write, eat (definately eat!), love...i am blessed.
I guess it's just a crazy lil epiphany i had. I dunno. Even though i am a wee bit sickly, have alot of commitments, am tired, stressed about moving to memphis possibley(yea know its memphis which is better i guess), and dealing with recent deaths...I love life and i dont cherish it enough. I waste so much time on trivial things that dont matter and i waste so much time not loving people, ordinary people.
If there is one thing I love is life. It's a blessing and i want to live it to its fullest which means i will have stressful times but i will also have wonderful times if i allow myself to. I love you guys that read this and i thank you for adding to my joys and blessings in life!
Ok, i think i am done with my flowery entry....LOVE YALL! | | |
| When in the hell did i become a perfectionist?! i've always been a dork about my school grades...but when did i become unable to accept a B! Re-darn-diculous i know! Having a B is a wonderful thing...but i cant take it. I had a fit today over it. (re-darn-diculous again). I hate my competitive drive and my perfection drive...its nuts and it needs to stop right now! But how do i stop it? hmmmmm....
maybe i just need a drink
or
maybe i just need a slap in the face
or
maybe i just need some sleep
or
maybe i should drop out of school and become a janitor...it makes so much sense to me. I love to clean already, you get to interact with people still, and i have experience already (thank you Movies 14...never thought i would say that). I think i just might. The world needs more janitors...there are alot of dirty folks out there who need my help! i will get working on that right now! | | |
| I need help
I know i am being really gay about everything and i am probably just really emotional with all of this hurricane crap but i have just been depressed lately.
All i can think about is how i wish jeannette were still here. everything seems to be reminding me of her this week. i'm just in one of those states right now were i cant get over the fact that i am still here and she isnt. it isnt fair. she deserves to be here over anyone. she was going somewhere, had a huge heart, had a man who loved her with everything...why isnt she here and why am i?
I just needed to vent on xanga...i dont think anyone even really checks xanga anymore with facebook going as crazy as it is!
I just wanted to vent a little. i'm just missing her alot | | |
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